July 4, 1988 was a special day, the wedding day for son my Jim Rabbitt and Vicky Hamilton Mercer. Although they were living in Durham, NC at the time, and it was a second marriage for both, they had chosen to have the wedding at our home in Russellville, Alabama. It seemed a good occasion to have the wedding include a sort of reunion of the Ben Gruner family.

One of the reasons for Jim and Vicky choosing Russellville was that it was where his great-grandfather Ben Gruner met and married Ellen White Fant. It was for the same sentiment Cos and I chose this same place in which to get married.  

A western barbecue was Jim’s choice of a theme, and so the invitations went out telling the guests they could come in casual dress.  

Jim wanted his daughter Celeste, then 14, to attend because Shannon and Dawn, Vicky’s daughters (ages 12 and 11), would be there, Tom and Claire were flying down and agreed to make a stop in Washington to pick her up. Louise agreed to let Jennifer (Mike’s daughter) fly up from Daytona Beach, Florida. Mike was in Germany and could not attend.

My sister, Mary Jo, only recently widowed, drove down from Michigan, stopping en route in Kentucky to pick up Gerry. Uncle Phil and Aunt Rose drove down from Tennessee. Also there were the Gilberts, Charles and Mary Jo and their son Chuck and wife Marty and their daughter Katie Jo -- and of course there were the local relatives, Aunt Helen, Cousin Ginger and her daughter Debbie. It was a good sized gathering. It meant a lot of planning and many anxious moments.

Jim asked Jimmy Byers, a local Probate Judge who was also a minister, to perform the ceremony that took place at midday, so there was a lot of early morning staging to do. We had turned the formal living room into a girls’ dormitory and all that had to be changed back. Tom had been charged with photography, and was busily arranging furniture placement to get the best lighting. He was using large house plants to represent people. I still remember the four-foot Yucca Jim referred to as “the groom.”

Much of the table setting in our large dining room had been done the night before. With three extra leaves in the table, there was plenty of room for the many-tiered cake, table service and decorations. In keeping with the western theme, And in the spirit of unity, I used a colorful cowgirl holding a Confederate flag and an Indian holding an American flag.

The wedding ceremony went well, but was delayed because Jennifer couldn’t get her hair to “do right” – and refused to come out and join the others, even though the minister was there and everyone else assembled. I finally coaxed her out, but she refused to have her picture taken with the others, even hid out of sight while the video camera was running. She was only 13 then, so I couldn’t get too angry with her. She didn’t realize she was an attractive girl who would look good even if she hid her hair in a turban.

When the ceremony was successfully over, it was time to think about eating. Even that was not without some unwelcome surprises. I had asked the local Winn Dixie to cook the ham and slice it up. We had picked out a country ham, but the deli people apparently didn’t know it should have been soaked first. To say it was tough is an understatement. Chuck Gilbert gravely ate it and pronounced it tasty, but most of the others chose to go with the hot dogs and hamburgers.

Cos took charge of the grill. We had an 80-foot patio in the back and had a picnic table out there as well as extra chairs, but most of the guests preferred to sit in our large family room. After all, it was July and it was the South.

It had been a wonderful day, and I now find it hard to realize it was twenty years ago. Jim and Vicky are still together. All of the girls have married, two of them have had children of their own and another is expecting. Cos and I moved that year to Montgomery, where he died four years later. I bought a house in Durham, not far from Jim and Vicky, and moved there in 1994. Every Fourth of July I fondly remember that day in 1988 in Russellville, Alabama.