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Theirs was a fairy-book romance in the latter part of the nineteenth
century, yet they were so unlike and from such different worlds that
one has to wonder that they ever met.
Ben had been named Benjamin F. Butler Gruner, named for a famous
(or infamous) Civil War General, Benjamin F. Butler. Ben later changed
his name to Benjamin Sam Gruner. He had no problems with the name
change until he filed for his Railroad Retirement annuity in 1937,
and it was noted that his name of current record was not the same
as on his original position application. One of his brothers obligingly
provided testimony that the two names belonged to the same person.
Ben was a first generation American of German heritage, the fifth
child and second son of Wenzel Gruner, a successful farmer in
Michigan and his wife, the former Emily Randall. Wenzel died when
he was not quite thirteen years old and Ben was not inclined to
follow his father’s footsteps in farming. He was interested in
telegraphy, the closest thing to electronics in those days.
His mother encouraged him to finish school before following his
dream of becoming a telegrapher for the railroad.
By the time he was eighteen, he was a skilled telegrapher and ready
for adventure. His first job was as a telegraph operator for the
L&N Railroad in Sheffield, Alabama, a small town in the Tennessee
Valley. The rail line was being extended toward Birmingham and soon
a new depot was built about twenty miles from Sheffield, near
Russellville. Offered a promotion, Ben accepted a position there in
1891 and rented a room at the home of William Fant, near the depot.
It was there he met pretty fifteen-year-old Ellen, who immediately
caught his eye. She, in turn, was immediately attracted to the
handsome railroad telegrapher.
Ellen was the sixth of seven children from an old-line Southern family
who had lost business and lands in the Tennessee Valley during the
War and Reconstruction. In the early 1880s, nearing financial ruin,
he bought several lots south of Russellville from a cousin,
John Ellis Isbell. John had subdivided his land there and named it
“Isbell.” There he built a house and a general store.
The business remained in the family until the late 1940s, operated
by his only son, Robert. By that time the only children left at home
were Robert, Ellen and a younger daughter Fannie.
When it was apparent that the romance was serious, William and Mary
Fant were alarmed. Ellen was fifteen by then, but Ben was only
nineteen, both too young to wed, it was thought. They managed to
talk the young couple into waiting until she was sixteen, then considered
a reasonable age for marriage. In the meantime, he saved his money
so they could establish a home.
And So They Were Married
Ben rented a two-story white house near the station and the Fants
finally gave their consent for the wedding that took place in
January 1892. It wasn’t the sort of glamour wedding that would make
the society page, but it was a gala event and the home was suitably
festooned with fine china and linens, reminders of the antebellum
days that were now only memories of long ago. Reverend John White
conducted the wedding.
Ben and Ellen stayed in the Isbell house for about ten years.
Their four oldest children, Flora, Mina, Wenzel and Mary Katherine
were born in Isbell. By all accounts, they were the happiest years
in Ellen’s life. She enjoyed being a homemaker and mother.
Her mother and younger sister were nearby to offer guidance and help.
Sisters, cousins and aunts often came to visit for extended periods,
and the days were full.
In 1895 Ben and Ellen made a trip to Michigan to visit his family
there and present his wife. It was not an entirely satisfactory visit.
Ellen overheard some of his family discussing her, wondering why
he could not have found a more suitable wife, one from the North.
There was still a great deal of ill feeling toward Southerners.
All she could do was to hold her head high and pretend she had
not heard the hurtful remarks.
It is not certain that Ben remained entirely happy with his life
in Isbell. In a letter to his mother in 1899 he complained of one
of Ellen’s aunts who was a frequent visitor and interfered too much
in the raising of the children. He also mentioned that he had
despaired of ever getting back up North again because of the shortage
of money. There seemed an implication that he was helping to
support too many relatives in addition to his wife and children.
In 1900, Ben was offered a chance for move to Winfield, Alabama
as a station agent with the St. Louis and San Francisco Railway.
It was an offer he couldn’t refuse.
The Move to Winfield
Ben rented a house near the Winfield Depot and moved his family
there. With the additional income from his new job, and presumably
the lack of extra relatives to feed, he was soon able to buy a
lot nearby and make plans to build a house. By 1903 the family
moved into the house, though it was several years more before he
completed all the carpentry and decorating work.
It was a large house with four bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs
in addition to a maid’s room, a nursery, a children’s playroom, a
laundry room and a workroom. Because he often worked nights, Ben
also built a third floor tower bedroom so he could sleep during the
day away from household noise and children. To discourage the
children from coming up and disturbing him, the stairway was
accessed through a secret panel in a wall. There was also a
drop down stair that could be used in case of fire.
Three of Ben and Ellen’s children, Robert, Helen and Philip, were
born in Winfield, the first in 1903 and the last in 1912.
These were the wonder years for the children, as they were to
look back fondly on those times and the magic of the Winfield House.
It was not all harmony between Ben and Ellen, however. Ben was
the disciplinarian in dealing with the children, but for much of
the time he was either working at the depot or resting in his
tower hideaway.
Ellen became more and more absorbed in her Church activities and
made sure the children were raised in the Christian faith, which
in the Church of Christ meant baptism around the age of twelve.
Ben was a student of the Bible, but seldom attended church with her.
As the years went by, they drifted further and further apart.
Several times during those years in Winfield, Ben transferred to
another job, often on a temporary basis, and then he would transfer
back to Winfield. By the time the split finally came, the older
children had left home. Flo and Mina were in Mississippi and Mina
had married. Wenzel was in the Navy and World War I had started.
Kate had been taught telegraphy and station management by her
father and was working as a station agent for the Southern Railroad.
No one really knows what really caused the split, but there was
talk of another woman, and Ellen asked Ben to leave permanently.
He was overheard to say that if he left, he would no longer support her.
They separated, but were never divorced.
The children pitched in to take care of Ellen. In the middle 1920’s
several of them moved to Michigan to work for the Ford Motor
Company. Philip was able to attend the Ford engineering school
and soon had a good position with Ford. He maintained a home for
Ellen until after he married in 1940. At that time her children
again chipped in to rent an apartment for her in Detroit, where
she lived for several years before returning to Alabama to share
the family home in Isbell with her sister Fannie. When ill health
forced her to go to Memphis for better medical care, she lived
with her daughter Mina, and there she died in 1961. She is buried
in the family plot in Russellville, Alabama, as had been her wish.
Ben continued to work for the railroad until his retirement in 1937.
He lived in Memphis for some time, but eventually moved to Gold
Mine, a small town not far from Winfield. There he died in 1953,
and there he is buried. Most of the family was not aware that
during her many visits from Michigan to Alabama, Ellen arranged
to spend some time with Ben. She swore a granddaughter to secrecy,
and the granddaughter would drive her to Ben’s home, and later go
to bring her back her home to continue her visit. At each visit
there was a discussion about reconciliation, but it never happened.
Perhaps a wise person or a psychologist could understand
it all, but to the grandchildren it always seemed it was simply
a tragic, yet everlasting love story that never had an end even in their death.
[By Marian Sherburne Zang, a granddaughter of Ben and Ellen]
Sincerest Thanks to Marian for the heartwarming yet heartbreaking story of
~ Our Beloved Benjamin and Ellen Gruner. ~
May their souls rest in the Lord's Light.
This page is a tribute to the Descendants of Franz and Katharina
as it also is to the memory of Benjamin and Ellen Gruner.
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